2 months

Jack is 2 months old! It is really starting to get fun. Jack is smiling and cooing all the time. He loves to connect with Dad or I. He will giggle and smile and wiggle all around- and this smile of his- OH my heart. He smiles literally from ear to ear, and takes deep breaths and coos while he does it... like he is really trying to savor the moment. He likes to have sweet conversations with us about nothing and giggle and smile until he falls asleep.

Speaking of sleep... at 5/6 weeks he was still only sleeping 2/3 hour chunks and at about 7 weeks he started to sometimes go for 4 hours and finally at 8 weeks he began sleeping for 5/6 hour chunks. I feel like a whole new woman with 5 hours of consecutive sleep- so what if my shirt is wet when I wake up! :)

Aside from loving to connect with Dad and I, Jack loves to observe. His eyes dart around the rooms/outside trying to track noises and take in his surroundings. He lights up when he makes eye contact with people.

We had our first trip to Palm springs to visit Gma and Gpa great. (my grandparents) While we were there Auntie Cindy and Uncle Jack surprised us with a visit. It was so fun for them to meet Jack and visit with them. Jack loved meeting the other Jacks!

Grandpa Dave (my dad) got to meet Jack as well, they had fun getting to know each other. Auntie Amber and Uncle Double are regular visitors as well- They take turns holding Jack and giggling at him.

Jack's eyes are still blue- although I still think they will change- who knows. He is wearing size 1 diapers and is starting to get snug in some of his 0-3 month clothes. His favorite outfit is the robot onesie made by my friend Coco and hand me down pants from Shepard (Rhea's son). He loves his binky and noise machine to help him sleep. at about 6 weeks he began to enjoy his swing, he did not like it before then. He will laugh and point at the mobile- which looks super lame to me, but he loves it!

 I am loving Jack being mine, for this short moment in time he is mine. I know that one day he will grow up and marry a beautiful woman (whom I've been praying for) and he won't be mine anymore. I pray that he will be as wonderful to his wife as his Dad is to me. I pray that he is confident, loving and kind like his father and silly, creative and determined like his Mama. I am loving watching his personality take shape- so far I would say he is mellow, sweet, loving, a connector... I think he loves making me smile and laugh- we might have a comedian on our hands! :)

Jack has great hand/eye coordination and can track me with his eyes. He is so strong! Although he bonks me quite a bit- he has pretty good control of his neck. His legs are always kicking and trying to stand up. His grip is constant, he loves to hold fingers.

Jack is so far loving going to the beach while mom and dad play volleyball. I hope he will continue to like it! :) He hangs out with his buddy Gaige (only 6 weeks older then him). I take Jack on walks almost every day and he does great- he likes to look around and listen to the noises. He has gone to church twice now and barely said a peep.

Here are some of my favorite photos from the last month...

   

Jack and Jack

Jack and Cindy

Favorite calm down technique when sleepy- rocking side to side with the binky, sometimes i have to shhhh in your ear.

Gma great

Gpa Great

Jack's on their phones

Nursing on the go

Jack's doting Aunt Amber and Uncle Double

Two of my favorite girls- God is so good!

Gaige and Jack- chilin at the beach

Gpa Dave

1 Month

Jack's first month has been better then my wildest dreams. He is seriously a very sweet baby. He loves sucking on his fingers/our fingers/his pacifier. We call him our "touch" baby- he loves to be held and cuddled. He only sleeps about a half hour on his own but if one of us lay with him he might sleep for 3 hours! :) SO... mama sleeps with him on the couch while dad is in the bedroom. Sometimes dad comes out if Jack is too fussy and mama needs a break. Because he likes to be held so much, I RELY on the ergo baby to get things done around the house.

At about the end of four weeks I got a smile out of my little bug.  We like to call him our crinkle mouse, groundhog, little buddy, Baby Jack, sweet baby, sweet heart and angel boy. So far it has been a whole lot of sleeping/pooping and eating. Eating has NOT been easy.

Breast feeding is quite a challenge, I'm so thankful for the lactation consultants and friend offering advice. I knew it wasn't going to be easy- but WOW! Jack and I have both worked to get into a rhythm. I think we had everything that could go wrong- go wrong, but I am so grateful we stuck with it. I know my son is getting the best nutrients I can give him... I remind myself that when it hurts so bad!

 I have been just as much panicked as a mom as I was pregnant. I didn't sleep the first 3 night worrying about SIDS- I didn't even fully trust Caleb with him. Sleep eventually won me over and I relaxed enough to get some much needed zzzz's.

My only complaint is that I can't physically show him to my mother. This is by far my proudest moment- one that I so long to share with her. Sometimes during a late night feeding, looking down at my angel I shed a few tears imagining Kimi looking down at a little Hilary or Aaron when we were that small. I bet she loved us as much as I love Jack.

 All in all, Caleb and I feel so grateful to be blessed with such a sweet baby. Here are some photos from his first month of life...

2 weeks later...

Baby Size- at birth 7.7 pounds 19 inches, currently 7.10 and not sure on height
Working out- I've taken Jack for a stroll around the block... trying not to rush it, still have some healing to do.
Weight gain- I gained 35 pounds with Jack, plus an additional 10 from IVF. I'm down 20 pounds but still have a ways to go! :) I know I have time, no rush.
Cravings- Oatmeal! oatmeal and more oatmeal.
Aches and Pains- My ribs no longer hurt! :) hurray! I actually feel pretty good- still hurts down there a little bit, but better then I anticipated.
Stretch Marks?- nope! I got lucky, no stretch marks. skin is firming up pretty well.
Nursery- we are hardly in there... Jack and I sleep in the living room and if he is really fussy and I don't sleep at all, I get Caleb to come in and watch Jack for a few hours... lots of nursing.
Sleeping-??? not so much. I'm lucky to get 5/6 hours in a day- sometimes more sometimes less. It is all worth it.
Dr. Appt- Jack did great, he is right on track.
Things I couldn't live without- 

I originally used the Medela gel pads for sore nips- but, I got an allergic reaction... So my lactation consultant had me switch to these and my allergic reaction has cleared up, plus they are sooo soft!

Not only does this sustain me all morning, it helps with milk production. I add fruit and nuts to the mix... delicious! Also, I have been making these oatmeal cookie bites from a recipe I found on pinterest... It is just bananas and oatmeal- that is it, I add dried cherries and walnuts and they are a great one handed bite to eat while breast feeding.

WATER! I drink a huge glass every time I sit down to nurse. The nurses in the hospital thought I had so much milk/colostrum because I drank so much water.

Also you should checkout Postagram- It takes your Instragram photos and sends them as postcards to family members. It is my new favorite thing to do! :) so easy and inexpensive to get snail mail out!

Here some of my favorite Jack photos

3.5 years, 39 weeks, 30 hours.

It has been 3.5 years of praying to get pregnant, 39 weeks of blissful pregnancy, 30 hours of tedious labor to finally meet our son Jack... There is nothing I could have done in all that time to prepare me for the amount of joy and love I felt the instant they placed my sweet boy on my chest.

3.5 years of infertility was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. I felt so broken, ashamed and powerless. I prayed desperately for a baby, relying on God, my husband and friends for support and comfort. It was a difficult season for both Caleb and I... I wish I could say I handled it as well as Caleb did. He was steady and confident that God would give us a child.  He wouldn't give in to the waves of pain that would sweep over me like a tidal wave. My sweet friend Shavon spent hours listening to me cry and might bring me a bottle of wine and sit with me, even when I said I just wanted to be alone- she knew better. My friends and family helped carry the burden for me. Towards the end of the 3.5 years my prayers changed from wanting a child to wanting healing and hope again. Hope came on Valentines day last year when we received a call from a dear friend Janey and her daughter Chelsea. They wanted to help start a baby-raising fund for us to move forward with IVF. To our joy and delight they raised enough for us to begin the process. IVF is not for the faint of heart, but we were determined and hopeful that it would result in a baby, so we pushed on. Multiple shots a day, hormones going all cray cray, countless exams... and in the end, there it was... The positive pregnancy test.

39 weeks of joy. I so so so loved being pregnant. I mean, there is so much not to love about being pregnant and I felt that too. But, there was also years of prayer and hope for a baby. Everytime I looked in the mirror and saw my growing tummy I would get giddy. Sharing the news of our pregnancy with friends and family was so fun. There was tears of joy, relief, praise, restored hope and love. I get emotional thinking back on the moments. I have never felt so celebrated and loved.

Week by week I saw my husband become more doting and loving. He was constantly rubbing my feet and shoulders. He took over kitty litter duty- HE TOOK OVER KITTY LITTER DUTY. He doesn't even like our cat. He was already a tremendous husband- but he took it to a whole new level. Our pregnancy was such a sweet, intimate time together.

Jack was due February 7th, and we both thought he would probably arrive late. Both our mom's delivered us late and we figured it would be the same for Jack. You can imagine my surprise when my water broke on the 1st of February. I wasn't ready. I wanted another week or so with my husband. I started to panic a little bit, wondering if I would love having a baby in my arms as much as I loved having him in my tummy- sounds strange I know, but for so long I prayed and desired to get pregnant... I began to wonder if I would enjoy this baby as much as I thought I would. I began to fear that this baby might not look like us... I mean, they could have made an error in the petri dish and gave us another person's baby. What if I suck at being a mom? What if I can't nurse? What if I am awkward and don't know how to hold him and care for him?

We had a very long labor (I will write a post on that later) and in the end when they placed Jack on my chest. I knew he was ours. He is half Caleb and half me. My heart ripped open. In an instant all my fears were gone, and I loved this baby more then I could ever imagine. I instantly knew how to take care of him. God equipped me to care for our Jack, and I'm loving every minute of it. I love that he projectile pooped on me at 3am. I love that he can only be soothed by his mama or daddy. I love that he is sweet and mild tempered. I love his smell. I love not sleeping... because I get to spend time with my angel.

Infertility left a deep wound, pregnancy began to heal the wound and the minute I met my son the wounds turned into scars that left me with such gratitude and thankfulness for our son.

Mom and son

So content

Water broke- last tummy pic

HERE WE GO...

1st moment with my son.

Daddy and son

LOVE LOVE.

Sweetest boy

Tummy time of Gma Kimi's quilt.

Jack's Nursery

So, I went with a Mid Century Modern- Nautical themed nursery... without further ado... here are the pics...

Rocking chair from bel bambini... It reclines, I love it, Caleb loves it... Freaking Emma loves it. 

Curtains I made with fabric I had bought a long time ago that turned out to be more like Upholstery fabric, so I took a crack at curtains, I love them and love my husband for putting the curtain rod up- not his favorite.

 The dresser, we found at a thrift shop in Long Beach... I am in love with Mid-Century-Modern furniture, so when we found this beauty for $275 we pounced on it!  :)

 I found these globes at West Elm and filled them with sand and the most adorable little boats that were Christmas ornaments from Tuvalu.

 One of my favorite Kimi pics... She is in a sailboat looking so presh.

 This is a Seagull that my Grandpa Dick made... I've had it forever... pretty perfect.

 Book shelves installed by Caleb :) from IKEA, I think they were like $15 each, and I LOVE how they turned out!

 Love this crib by Babyletto. Sheets by Land of Nod. Bed skirt by Hilary! :) I used the same fabric that is on the changing pad cover- Joel Dewberry, Modern meadow. I wish I could say I used a pattern... But, I just winged it.

 Map is a nautical map of Puget Sound... Love the colors and love the nod to Washington!

Baby mobile I made out of paper- Pinterest project! :) I had so much fun making it, and it probably only cost me $10.

AND... The bag, from Pbarn kids... I am so happy with it. It's huge and not too girly so Caleb can carry it. I love it.