I'm a sewing machine.

No, not my Halloween costume... I really am a SEWING, Machine. My auntie Karen came over and helped me figure out my sewing machine so I can use it. I inherited my mothers beautiful Bernina Virtuoso 150... Lots of bells and whistles. I have been having fun pressing buttons and what not. I grew up sewing with my mom. I remember making pillowcases and doll clothes. I think i finished my first quilt by the age of 8... although I never cut any fabric?! Still a FP is a FP! (FP in my family means, finished project) I quit sewing altogether when i was in my teens.

                                   Photo above is of my mom, pinning fabric together for me.

My dad had made my mom a sewing/hobby room that I often think about. I think her heaven might look like that room with the skylight right above her sewing machine. We would have so much fun in their when i was little. She was an excellent teacher. She was so patient and sweet. It is and always will be one of my favorite memories as a child. And as I grew up, I remember her getting ready for her wedding to my step dad in their with Andrea and Kirsten listening to Bonnie Tyler's bright eyes on repeat. Because her sewing/hobbying was such a significant part of who she was, when she got sick with Cancer I wanted to do one last project with her. In 3 months we put together the most special love bird quilt. She had to reteach me how to do almost everything, but it all came back quick. She was busy pinning fabric for me to sew up to 4 days before she passed away. (CAN you believe that???) She saw the completed project before she passed. I know she was overjoyed... but it was more then just a FP, for her she was more excited that I had began quilting, carrying on her legacy. That is why it is so fun for me to quilt. I feel like she is with me. She is here, somehow she is here with me whenever i sew. I can just hear her say, ohh... good corner. Nice seem, or you might want to rip that out and start over. :) either way. It brings me close to her, and I love it. I have made my friend Misty a quilt (co-made it with my auntie) and another quilt for my sister Andrea that is going to be sent to the quilter this week. I have done all my sewing up until know on my mom's old bernina... Its the same machine i grew up using from the 80s.... Don't get me wrong, it still is a great machine! But, my mama gave that machine to my auntie Karen. So whenever I sewed I would go over to her house... Which I also loved because she is so talented and helpful. If you don't know my aunt Karen, she looks just like my mom and is an equally talented sewer. We always have fun.

 My Auntie and Emma teaching me how to use my machine... THE machine!

I cant tell you how fun it is to sew in my own house now. I have been going through some of my mothers fabric and making little projects. Inspired by my new facebook friend Courtney Schultz, and my friends with babies... I have been making stylish burp cloths. Nothing really to them, and I'm just playing around. But they are fun and cute, and will be great baby gifts!

The top one is just your basic burp cloth with fabric sewed on, and the bottom one is flannel with fabric.


Love.
Hil.

Laundry and The Office

 If it wasn't for the office, i may never get any laundry done. We bought the season dvd's and i watch/laugh while i fold. The office really just doesn't get old for me! :) Laundry really piles up over here with our gym habits and my wanting to put everything i wear in the laundry basket because it is easier then hanging it back up or putting it away. (things that drive my very neat husband crazy) Cleaning house just isn't something that I'm naturally really great at. I have to work at it, If my husband didn't mind my messes we would live under a pile. 

 About a month before my mom was diagnosed with Cancer, I begged her to come down to Arizona to help me organize my house. I didn't want her to clean, I just needed help with a system. Bless her heart, she came down. Pulled everything out of my kitchen cabinets and put it all back together more organized and efficient. She also helped with my filing cabinet. Boy could I use her now.... Sometimes I think we got too big of a house. 600 square feet would have been much more manageable for me :) 

Last night we went to a birthday party for my niece and nephew (Kirsten's kids). It was SOOOO fun to be with so many kids and relatives. It's definitely a different stage of life, All the kids are having kids now. Its fun to see my brothers/sisters/cousins personalities and faces play out in their kids. So cute. I love being auntie Hilly.
 

Today we had Kirsten, Isaac, Justice, Selah and new baby Jude out to our house. It was so fun to be with family all day long. Justice loves football so much right now. When he got to our house he looked at the TV and said, Um... Aunt Hilly, this is the Dolphins vs the Steelers... I want to watch the  Jaguar's/chief game. ADORABLE!

 On our front porch Selah, Me, Caleb and Justice

                      J-man doing his 3 point stance (looked different when Bryan asked him to do it!?)

      Isaac, Justice and Caleb

Kirsten and Selah

Im a blogger

I have often thought about blogging but never really got around to it. I love social networking, keeping up with people i love... So hello friend! Here's what you can expect to read here... Updates on our life, our struggles, our successes, my pilates, Caleb's books, Our spunky little Emma cat, and so on.

To get everyone up to speed. Caleb and I got married November, 22 2008 in Scottsdale, Arizona. At the time we were living there, and to our knowledge we were planning on staying there for the next 10-15 years. But, only three months into our marriage I got the absolute worst call of my life. My mama was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer (for the most part, pancreatic cancer is terminal)  I didn't bat one of my long eyelashes before i was on a plane back to Washington. Upon arrival I launched into full time nurse-mode for my precious mama kimi. It was such a special time for me. We never know God's plan, why does cancer happen? Why do people die young? What happens when people die? And I'm here to tell you I still don't have any answers! :) But, I do have peace. I know that my mom is in heaven. I know heaven is the coolest place you can imagine.... Sometimes I think about heaven... Maybe for my first 10 years there i will just catch waves (body surf) in somewhere that looks like Spain and i never get water up my nose and I drink prosecco and eat mussels all day long. Just one of my many scenarios. Either way I have fun imagining my life in heaven I know it will be AWESOME! I think its safe to say that i was and am devastated by the loss of my mom. She was my best friend. But, I trust that I will see her again and I try to live my life to the fullest... Making sure not to take my friends and family for granted as I know first hand they can be taken away from me in a second.

Around the time my mom got sick March/April2009 Caleb and I began trying to get pregnant... hoping that my mom would be around long enough to see a grandchild. When we realized the cancer was moving faster then we had hoped and upon my moms request we took a break from our "efforts" if you know what i mean ;) We started back at our "efforts" in augustish. We reached December with no success, at which point we decided to take it up a notch. I began charting my temperature which helps you figure out when you are ovulating... making our "efforts" a little more educated. While taking my temperature every morning and sometimes night (i became a little obsessive... sometimes i made Caleb take his too) i observed some pretty low temps. Which my book Taking Charge of Your Fertility says is often evidence of  a low functioning thyroid. So I went to my first doctor who tested my thyroid he did only one of 4 tests... Which came up normal. So I went for a second opinion. Sure enough low thyroid. I got on medication... and still no pregnancy. I was using my ovulation sticks, (one time i took a pregnancy test same time... just in case) taking my temperature, eating healthy, exercising regularly...  Meanwhile everyone around me was getting pregnant... What the heck was wrong with me and why were none of my doctors looking for a solution. I think they looked at me, assumed i was healthy and that I was unable to get pregnant due to the stress of losing my mom, moving, yada yada yada. I got pretty tired of the runaround from my doctor. To get into see yet ANOTHER gyno it would take up to 2 months. Who may eventually direct us to an infertility clinic. Caleb and I prayerfully decided (with some advice from friends) to go to an infertility clinic to just get a little looky-loo into what was going on.  DID I go there? YES I DID... It seems to be a pretty taboo thing to talk about. Except guess what, a lot of people are struggling with infertility, yet nobody talks about it. Probably because it is painful and embarrassing. But it has been around since before Jesus, HELLO... Sarah and Abraham, they were like 90 when they finally got pregnant. I hope Caleb and I wont be quite so old :)

The Verdict... not great. It looks at though I have a Hydrosalpinx on my left fallopian tube which translates most literally as “blocked water tube.” And if you’re trying to get pregnant, that’s a particular kind of water tube you don’t want blocked. I don't want to go to in depth about what it is until I have more information from our doctor. We will go in for our second appointment early November.

We are hopeful... and grateful for each other.
Hil