Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Week 11

Week 11
Last week I graduated from Dr. Acacio's fertility office. It was an emotional day for me to say goodbye to all my friends. Dr. Acacio did one parting ultrasound and progesterone checkup. Good news is no more progesterone shots! :) The ultrasound was great too, baby A was a little wiggle worm. I loved looking at the babe and checking out the strong heartbeat. Dr. A also found a little empty sack to the side of my babe. He suspected that both babies implanted and then only one stuck. That was probably why my HCG numbers didn't double like we wanted.
10 Week Ultrasound

Today I had another appointment with my new Dr. Hong. She was excited to see me, and very excited to see our babe. Baby A did not disappoint, he/she was punching and kicking. She said Baby was measuring perfectly. It was a great appointment, although I got the feeling they didn't like the fact that I declined the genetic testing.  I asked her plainly if they can do anything about a disorder in-utero she said no... So I didn't really see the point to it. We certainly aren't going to have an abortion... It felt good to be in charge of my health care a little bit.
Week 11 Ultrasound
Weight gain- . 5 pound.
Cravings- Yogurt, In-N-Out cheeseburger- although that was a huge mistake. Fruit, Cereal.
Food Aversions- Chicken, Asian food, Pizza.
Pregnancy symptoms- Dehydration, Exhaustion, Light headed, Nauseous, Heartburn
Sleeping- No more Dexamethasone (steroid) and still not sleeping great. My typical 3am potty trip keeps me awake until 5am- don't worry I normally get a nap in! :)
Baby's heart beat- 160
Working out- Walking to the beach, and some pilates.
Baby Size- Fig

Week 9

Ok, so no real bump yet. I did gain 10 pounds from the ivf process so I'm not feeling my best. This week we moved into our new condo (renting) in Huntington Beach. So far so great, moving for me was not really my favorite. I was pretty tired and dizzy which made it a slow process. I had my first appointment with my real Doctor, and I loved her! She was so excited for me and sensitive to what I have been through. Even though she is in San Juan Capistrano, I think I will stick with her. It's so important for me to feel comfortable and cared for, which I do.

Weight gain- none since week 5.
Cravings- Yogurt, Spaghetti with meat sauce, Smoothies, Mac and Cheese.
Food Aversions- Chicken, Blue cheese, Spicy food.
Pregnancy symptoms- Dehydration, Exhaustion, Light headed, Nauseous- only one throw up.
Sleeping- Not great, I am still on Dexamethasone (steroid) which I think makes my heart race. And many trips to the bathroom is keeping me (and Caleb) awake.
Baby's heart beat- went up to 165... hurray!
Working out- moving is my working out. ugh.
Baby Size- Grape

Friday, July 6, 2012

June 20th, our little spelunker.

Head lamp? Dont get any ideas onie and dad!!!

 Well... It's official!!!!!!! We are so pregnant now! Baby is perfect! We saw the little flicker of the heartbeat this morning.. I cried through the whole thing, Caleb was intently watching the screen. After 3+ years of praying for this moment, I can't express all the emotions. On one hand I wanted to jump out of the exam chair and do the chicken dance I was so excited. On the other hand I thought... I can't wait to call kimi-- A call I simply can't make anymore. That is how grief has been for me- I come upon moments in life that I want to share with her-realize again I will have to wait until heaven to share. She would have been so excited to be a grandma (again). She would have gotten busy for sure on a quilt-or two- or three! :) I can see her wiggling with excitement, I just know she would love this.

After the scan was done, our wonderful Dr. shook our hands and left the room. (So grateful I was able to experience meeting our baby with such a loving dr.) Caleb began to cry- not knowing what I was thinking or feeling... He grabbed my shoulders and said, Kimi already knows, She knew before we knew. She is always with you Hilary. Needless to say it left me in tears.. I hope I can be as fun, loving and creative as my mom was.
My kimi and me.

cautiously pregnant

June 7th

Officially cautiously pregnant-- Our HCG number did NOT double, it went to 512... Not even close to 700 which is where it should be. What this typically means is either ectopic or miscarriage, but could certainly still result in a healthy pregnancy. The good news is that the number went up- numbers going down is miscarriage. Cool nurse Sheri asked me to come in next week for another blood test. We scheduled the blood test for Monday morning. We are trusting that God is going to take care of us.

June 11th
We went in for our blood test and the number was 1600. Which was good in my book!!! Over the weekend I had a few random people tell me they had the same low hcg numbers that resulted in a healthy baby, so I went into the meeting a little more confident! We are going to wait until the ultrasound to tell people about baby Anderson. :) :) :) :)

June 5th- we are pregnant!

We went in for our first HCG blood test, 349- We are officially pregnant. So far the only thing I feel is tired. After so many years of trying to detect a pregnancy, it was interesting to note that I didn't feel any different. I have been very thirsty, crazy thirsty. Caleb and I are going to celebrate alone until we get our second blood test. They really want to see the number double in two days.

I can't believe there is a baby in me, and really... I dont believe there is a baby in me. I wonder when it will feel real?!

May 22nd

The last 5 days have been pretty uncomfortable after my egg retrieval. I had so many eggs that it left my ovaries rather enlarged, which pushed everything up into my chest. Needless to say I was resting the whole weekend!
Nervous for the transfer!

Today I went in for my transfer... Caleb had to go to Africa for work and missed the special moment by hours :( his mama drove over to help take care of me while i was on bed rest. Dr. Acacio had me drink 24 oz of water before the transfer to help make my uterus lay flat so that he could put the babies in easier. While cool nurse Sheri offered me my Valium for the procedure she asked if I would like a catheter or bed pan? Pardon me Sheri, but did you just say catheter? no thank you, i will go in the bed pan!!!! The procedure was easy breezy, and very sweet. I brought a picture of Caleb in to the room with me and was focused on him while the Dr. put my babies into their new home.
Babies getting dropped off!

At this point, I'm beyond ready to go pee.. So they transferred me over to my bed for the next hour and brought me my bed pan. It felt like I was peeing the bed... and then I felt a little wet on my back and thought, that maybe I over flowed the bed pan. So I yelled for cool nurse Sheri, who took a look at my bedpan overflow and called for assistance. Cool nurse Sheri had to wipe my butt, change the sheets and wipe down the table. She kindly offered me another bed pan to finish relieving myself- I thought after all that embarrassment I could hold it! :( The rest of the day was a Valium blur, I went home and slept the night away!
Right before I peed the bed! :(

May 17th

Egg retrieval day...
dropping off my eggs!

We went into the office at 8am for our surgery. I wore my Easter bunny ears to the retrieval... When the nurse came to get me she said, "lets hop to it!" I loved her already! She gave me my IV and I walked in for surgery. Dr. Hiscox was my anesthesiologist, he gave me some relax medication and then away I went. I woke up to the same sweet nurse and my silly husband-- who was videoing me come off anesthesia. pretty funny, I will try and figure out how to get that video on here! :/  now a little rest and relax---

May 16th

It's Caleb's birthday!!!!!!! love my handsome husband. He chose to have dinner at home with me and presents. He didnt have to administer a single shot today... a little gift from Dr. Acacio. :)  Caleb has been such a trooper dealing with me on all sorts of hormones. He lovingly gives me shots every night and morning... I honestly think its more difficult to administer the shot then receive the shot. He is so thoughtful to make sure that Mothers Day was a special one for me. He will no doubt be the best father... I'm so excited to see him in this role.

I feel so blessed to be married to him... I hope that I become more and more like him everyday. He is so calm, steady and patient. I look forward to more birthdays next to this handsome man of mine! :)

may 14

I turned 30 this past weekend!!!!! I was feeling bloated from all the meds--- not super sexy.. Caleb planned the whole weekend as a surprise, it was over the top. Saturday we had a volleyball tournament in the morning which i loved. Then the girls all surprised me at the bowling alley for a couple rounds of bowling.. LOVED that. Later that night Caleb arranged for lots of friends to meet us at The Side Door for a couple drinks. I only had two--- had to break my no alcohol for my 30th bday!!! :) The next day was mothers day... Which is double hard for me-- mainly because I don't have my mama. What I wouldn't give to celebrate her one more time. Caleb took me to a lovely hotel in Huntington Beach to spend the night... but the spoiling didn't stop there, he arranged a gondola ride through Newport Harbor. It was right at sunset, complete with champagne and dessert. He is amazing, and sooooo sweet!!!

This morning we woke up and drove into our ultrasound appointment. I felt like I was carrying a watermelon in my belly, Dr. Acacio confirmed that the eggs looked good plentiful. He said I was like an Easter bunny with a really full basket of eggs!!! He also informed us that we could trigger the hcg shot tomorrow night. :) We meet with Cool nurse Sheri to go over my new medication lists. We get to take a little break from the shots :) just the HCG tomorrow, and none tomorrow. :) surgery to remove eggs is scheduled for Thursday morning.

I'm excited for the menopur, gonal f and lupron to be done with!!!
May 7th.

Caleb and I had an ultrasound this am and an estrodil checkup. Ultrasound was to check for cysts, my uterine lining, and egg growth. Results were great, no cysts, lining looks good, eggs look good.. The nurse left the room talking about what beautiful ovaries i had.. as if they were a pair of earrings or something. Caleb and I high fived each other, got dressed and moved to the next Dr. station. Blood draw to check the Estrodil levels- they were in range so we are cleared for more shots.

The Dr. lowered my dosages for the remainder of the month, out of fear of over-stimulating me. I'm on the low-low-low hormone stimulating cycle and still doing great! :) We begin Menopur and Gonal F  shots this evening. These are a little more challenging then the Lupron. Menopur requires some mixing of powders and liquids and needle changes, should be interesting. Gonal F is a funny Pen-like needle.

We are going to try taking my roids at night time to see if i cant get a better nights sleep? We shall see!
May 2nd, 2012... although I dont plan on publishing this until after our invirto process i still want to write about it and share it with everyone when its over.

I began taking birth control at the end of march-ironic right? Birth control is used to match my cycle with the clinics cycle. Also, it suppresses the chance of cysts and endometriosis growth. I never responded well to birth control, I tried to take it before Caleb and I got married... and was worried that we wouldn't make it to the alter with my crazy attitude, so I only stayed on it for 2 months. So... this time was no different, lots of tears and emotions. Last night was the last pill I will ever have to take! HURRAY! We survived!

We began shots of lupron on Saturday April 28th. Shots go in to my tummy... Caleb administers them. Flashback: 12 year old Hilary getting blood taken to check iron levels kicking and screaming. Mama kimi literally had to sit on me to get the blood test done. Quite embarrassing for kimi in front of her co-workers. I was a total spas and terrified of needles. She must be smiling down on me from heaven thinking about how much i have grown! First shot Caleb gave me was not my favorite. I laid flat on my back and I think it hurt because it went into my muscle. Now I hunch over and he can get some tummy fat to shoot into. NOT so bad!  :)  April 28th I also began roids... yep, I'm on steroids, never thought I would ever be on the roids. they are fine though, just messing up my sleep cycle.

Found the best acupuncturist whom i absolutely love! Dr. Daniel Lee, his office is wallpapered with pictures of pregnant woman. You just know you are in good hands. He puts little electrons on the needles and I can feel them go tick tick. It's a little strange. but, I know it works. He put me on herbs-pill form thank goodness. Took me off coffee-regular and decaf, Tea, dairy, alcohol, and red meat. So lets see here, I'm on birth control pills that make me hard to be around-to put it nicely... then you take away my favorite foods?! PERFECT.

Today I had my fluid ultrasound. Bad news, the fluid ultrasound hurt like crazyyyyy. I wasn't quite prepared for that. Good news is I have lots of potential eggs--- which is crazy because I'm on the low hormone dosage. Dr. Acacio was so impressed with my eggs. I am cleared to begin the cycle, so far so good.

By my bedside I have a picture of perhaps my favorite kiddo in the world... who just happens to be an invitro baby. So, every morning while I prepare my shot, I glance over at the picture and am reminded that its so worth it!

All this to say, we are beyond grateful that we get to be on this journey- we knew this process wouldn't be easy.