I have often thought about blogging but never really got around to it. I love social networking, keeping up with people i love... So hello friend! Here's what you can expect to read here... Updates on our life, our struggles, our successes, my pilates, Caleb's books, Our spunky little Emma cat, and so on.
To get everyone up to speed. Caleb and I got married November, 22 2008 in Scottsdale, Arizona. At the time we were living there, and to our knowledge we were planning on staying there for the next 10-15 years. But, only three months into our marriage I got the absolute worst call of my life. My mama was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer (for the most part, pancreatic cancer is terminal) I didn't bat one of my long eyelashes before i was on a plane back to Washington. Upon arrival I launched into full time nurse-mode for my precious mama kimi. It was such a special time for me. We never know God's plan, why does cancer happen? Why do people die young? What happens when people die? And I'm here to tell you I still don't have any answers! :) But, I do have peace. I know that my mom is in heaven. I know heaven is the coolest place you can imagine.... Sometimes I think about heaven... Maybe for my first 10 years there i will just catch waves (body surf) in somewhere that looks like Spain and i never get water up my nose and I drink prosecco and eat mussels all day long. Just one of my many scenarios. Either way I have fun imagining my life in heaven I know it will be AWESOME! I think its safe to say that i was and am devastated by the loss of my mom. She was my best friend. But, I trust that I will see her again and I try to live my life to the fullest... Making sure not to take my friends and family for granted as I know first hand they can be taken away from me in a second.
Around the time my mom got sick March/April2009 Caleb and I began trying to get pregnant... hoping that my mom would be around long enough to see a grandchild. When we realized the cancer was moving faster then we had hoped and upon my moms request we took a break from our "efforts" if you know what i mean ;) We started back at our "efforts" in augustish. We reached December with no success, at which point we decided to take it up a notch. I began charting my temperature which helps you figure out when you are ovulating... making our "efforts" a little more educated. While taking my temperature every morning and sometimes night (i became a little obsessive... sometimes i made Caleb take his too) i observed some pretty low temps. Which my book Taking Charge of Your Fertility says is often evidence of a low functioning thyroid. So I went to my first doctor who tested my thyroid he did only one of 4 tests... Which came up normal. So I went for a second opinion. Sure enough low thyroid. I got on medication... and still no pregnancy. I was using my ovulation sticks, (one time i took a pregnancy test same time... just in case) taking my temperature, eating healthy, exercising regularly... Meanwhile everyone around me was getting pregnant... What the heck was wrong with me and why were none of my doctors looking for a solution. I think they looked at me, assumed i was healthy and that I was unable to get pregnant due to the stress of losing my mom, moving, yada yada yada. I got pretty tired of the runaround from my doctor. To get into see yet ANOTHER gyno it would take up to 2 months. Who may eventually direct us to an infertility clinic. Caleb and I prayerfully decided (with some advice from friends) to go to an infertility clinic to just get a little looky-loo into what was going on. DID I go there? YES I DID... It seems to be a pretty taboo thing to talk about. Except guess what, a lot of people are struggling with infertility, yet nobody talks about it. Probably because it is painful and embarrassing. But it has been around since before Jesus, HELLO... Sarah and Abraham, they were like 90 when they finally got pregnant. I hope Caleb and I wont be quite so old :)
The Verdict... not great. It looks at though I have a Hydrosalpinx on my left fallopian tube which translates most literally as “blocked water tube.” And if you’re trying to get pregnant, that’s a particular kind of water tube you don’t want blocked. I don't want to go to in depth about what it is until I have more information from our doctor. We will go in for our second appointment early November.
We are hopeful... and grateful for each other.